sharonosbourne:

*wakes up from nap that I didn’t know I was taking*

sweptoutofmymind:

today I burned my tongue on a piece of pizza and I think that it’s a very strong metaphor that sometimes the things you love most in life will hurt you.

sodamnrelatable:

laugh-addict:

ronaldkn0x:

people are horrible but they can give blowjobs so its okay

i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job 

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

paging-doctorfaggot:

analmermaidprincess:                                                           .

babyferaligator:                 ,                              

hey man u missed a spot                      ,

    .                                           ,

THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY                                                  ,

imtoolaceytodoanything:

bondoge:

why do i still have to go to school i thought slavery was abolished in 1865

that’s an interesting fact, where’d you learn that?

sodamnrelatable:

trying to leave tumblr

itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

fuckyeahlaughters:

Wearing an oversized shirt and no pants is probably the most comfortable thing of life.

basedgodniall:

when you spell restaurant right on the first try